India - The tour of Mr Obama

Title of this post should be "Mr Obama - The tour of India". At least that was what Indian media seemed to have established.

Obamania gripped terror-struck Mumbai.

Media talked non-stop about his visit from publishing pictures of Air Force One on Mumbai skies to landing to receiving the presidential brigade. All with running commentary. Thanks to internet and jobless journalists.

Once landed President Obama's charisma indeed won the hearts of billions. We should thank him. His visit created a chance to know about the families of those who lost their lives on 26/11. The extent of which could be seen in dedicated articles on family members who shook hands with him, who are otherwise invisible to the eyes of alert journalists. Sad to note that neither Indian politicians nor media got them to limelight. It is understandable. Politicians were busy planning their corruption tactics for the next scandal and media were busy with their next season of Bigg Boss. What a shame?

Had President Obama stayed a bit longer, the pronoun that represents him would have been capitalized despite where it appears in the sentence.

India celebrated PM Cameron more than President Obama. Mainly because the PM didn't possess diplomacy. He was very casual. He was also the first British premier to openly seek help from India. Kashmir and her problem creators were a major part of his speech. On the other hand, President Obama blurred the issue by not emphasizing it. Still he secured 50,000+ jobs for Americans. History indeed goes around in circles. Now Indians can proudly say, Americans steal our jobs.

President Obama: You have always been on the line that separates failure and success. Having known for our 'strict' grading system we give you a 'barely' passed grade although Americans have failed you. Congratulations. You must be proud of your achievement now. But, with this grade you may not even be able to secure a job in Indian call centers in two years. We often raise the IQ levels for jobs in India. Your Nobel will certainly not help. Work harder. India need a change in American perspective on economy, trade, security, and terrorism, together with a tiny backbone.

Change we can believe in, Can we?

The Goddess of Small Things!

None other than Arundhati Roy.

Taking things for granted and assuming that you are always right even without facts are the two qualities that grip you when you become an acclaimed writer. There is no escape. Ms Roy is no exception.

Since last week Ms Roy has become an unofficial spokesperson of Kashmir militants. Spreading 'peace' across Kashmir by criticizing India and standing up for the independence of Kashmir. However I failed to understand her point. Independence from whom?

Of late Ms Roy travels across the 'divided' state and interviews local people in an attempt to understand their miserable lives. Of course with a secretive intention to collect fictitious data for her next book "My baseless assumptions" (on India's atrocities in Kashmir).

Two things that caught my attention from her recent article defending her "independence for Kashmir" comment. Obviously, she unsuccessfully tries to project herself as a savior of:

Muslims in Kashmir. All her recent writings or interviews on Kashmir had at least one story of a tormented Muslim family. Without clear facts I find it difficult to be for or against anything here. For the same reason, blaming Indian government and demanding independence of Kashmir is incomprehensible. I did read in history that there are Hindus too who live in Kashmir. Have you seen and interviewed any of them, Ms Roy? Probably not. Because they are almost extinct today in that part of the world. Are you aware of ethnic cleansing? Maybe not. After all it is a fact.

Lives of Dalit soldiers. By the way, the word Dalit is now a valid adjective. Can be used in front of anything and everything. Even soldiers!

In her own words,

I spoke about justice for the people of Kashmir who live under one of the most brutal military occupations in the world; for Kashmiri Pandits who live out the tragedy of having been driven out of their homeland; for Dalit soldiers killed in Kashmir whose graves I visited on garbage heaps in their villages in Cuddalore...

Ms Roy: your comments do successfully project you in a third way. As a publicity seeker. Realize the gravity. There is a difference between politicians and writers. Writers certainly need facts, even the fiction ones. Hope you understand. Get out of your fantasies. Otherwise,


You are the Goddess of NOT small BUT cheap things!

Thought-provoking

Whilst I indulged in writing my next sarcastic post, I had a thought-provoking discussion with one of my friends. Since it is neither easy nor frequent for me to be provoked thoughtfully, I chose to write this post first. I hope that Ms Dixit and Mr Kalmadi could wait till my next post as they are already tired of CWG and at present busy with CBI and ED.

Our discussion started with an unusual question: "How do we know that we fit well into various roles we play in our lives?"

I remembered Shakespeare. He must have had the answer. After all he did manage to affirm that we are all players on a stage. To my disappointment he didn't seem to have measured the fitness of each role. Hardly a few would have the guts to criticize themselves. Shakespeare didn't belong to that 'minority' group. He seemed to have comfortably left the question untouched.

Why is it a thought-provoking question? Usually I call anything thought-provoking if I am really excited but unable to answer. And most importantly I do not wish to think about it again. Adding to my excitement, this question indeed made me think. How on earth am I going to measure the fitness of my roles as a son, brother, husband, father...? For some time I thought the question was purely rhetorical. Later I realized it certainly was not. For the first time I started to question myself: have I understood the question correctly? It doesn't happen to us often. By 'us' I meant 'researchers' in general. We always assume that we got the question correct no matter we understood it or not.

In professional terminology it seemed to me that I was given a self-assessment form. Only that the form could not be filled. It brings back the memories of my examinations. Sitting in a hall with all the restrictions in the world and waiting for the bell to ring. Only that there is no bell to ring here. I am forced to think and analyze.

Analyzing the thought-provoking question further leads only to not-so-conclusive answers. No matter whether this question makes complete sense or non-sense, the answer lies with the audience that the question was intended to. Finally I understood that I am the one who sets the question. I am not required to answer; let alone know the answer. I jumped in joy. My days are back. The bell has rung.

If you want to know how well you played your role, ask your audience! Ask your parents, siblings, longtime friends...

I appreciated the "power of asking" when I was watching a documentary on The Fall of World Trade Center. We all felt for and consoled the loved ones of those who lost their precious lives on that tragic morning. A fitting tribute. But, have we ever asked or at least thought about the engineer, Leslie Robertson, who spent months designing those towers, whose office overlooked the "once-stood" towers, who watched all his efforts vanishing in rubbles on 9/11. What he must have gone through when the towers collapsed? We don't know. Because we never asked.

The only unanswered questions are those that are never asked. Better late than never.

Men in White

Approximately fifteen-million pounds for a four-day visit. Utter lavishness. Whilst the Christ carried the cross on his shoulders and walked a long way to be crucified, His man in the Vatican city needs a specially designed bulletproof car. Modernization at its best. Church and modernization? Wealth overpowers principles, you know.

Sadly enough the Pope's tour is a State visit. I didn't realize until I figured out the meaning of State visit. David Cameron has to pay 20p from British tax-payer's money even for "His Holy Pee". One of my friends asked me innocently: "That won't be bad. How much would he pee?"

Pope's embarrassments usually start and progress during the tour. This time it came a little early. One of his advisors pulled out of the entourage quoting that UK is like a third world country due to its multicultural society. I personally don't bother about all this. Why bother a bunch of lunatics running a wealthy asylum by misleading people in the name of religion? But, do they realize that Jesus was a brown man from a third world country? I am sure not. They may even ask: Jesus, who?

Traditionally, the Vatican understands neither religion nor politics. It clearly didn't come across David Cameron's "Please save our butt" column in the Hindu when he visited India. Had they read there wouldn't have been a third world comment.

In his speech, Pope, not withstanding atheistic protests, compared Nazism and atheism saying Nazis were also atheists trying to abolish religion and God. He has a humor side too in spite of being a man of God.

Two more days left of his visit. He is yet to address the parliament. Lots of fun due. May God bless the Pope for bringing fun all the way from Vatican. I now rank Wimbledon second only to him.

While I write this I wonder: Is he really the God of men or just a man of God?

In Dependence Day

The title is not a typo. It is meant to be so. Today we are still in dependence. If not, Narayanamurthy will be jobless and bankrupt.

First I came to know about this I-Day only yesterday. I read somewhere "The PM's address to the nation". Although its the same old flour ground by "old" men time and again, thanks to the media. Every year I gather that August 15 is approaching only from them. They have a dedication to national service. They always publish this speech, come what may.

Every "proud" Indian wishes a "Happy I-Day" on FB, Orkut and wherever there is social networking. Isn't it rather an irony that Happy and I-Day are next to each other in the same sentence? Even more irony follows: those who wish on FB/Orkut are non-resident Indians. Of course they are happy abroad enjoying the western life-style and start cribbing about India as soon as they land here on vacation or for permanent settlement after being sent back by their adopted countries. This "Happy I-Day" from NRIs seems a little sarcastic to me. I am reminded of Cartman's "Screw you guys; I am going home" in Southpark.

Feeling independence is rather tricky especially when we don't actually know what independence means. But we can always list what happiness means to us in a typical Indian way.

Things make us happy only when:

• people from outside our state do not settle down in our state
  
• we steal jobs in other countries while we support the above point rigorously at home
  
• politicians loot as much as they can and on retirement pass on their power to their children
• there is a tax reimbursement for everything we buy including condoms and sanitary napkins (after all we spend a lot on the former only to help government tackle growing population)
  
• the elected members discuss important issues through their footwear
• media confuse us to the most possible extreme that we do not even understand who they target
• vote for color TV-sets
  
• we talk for hours about Indian democracy abroad and take pride in it without fail when we have not even voted once in general elections
  

I don't understand our proud Indians who adopt western culture and waiting for years to become a citizen of the adopted country and one more year for the passport. Some of them even seek to start families abroad calculating that its a shortcut to speedy citizenship. I am not complaining. I am just frustrated that I am not able to understand "Happy I-Day". Maybe I am overqualified to learn. Only that we depend a lot on adopted country 'theory'. Today we are still in dependence. In my opinion, I-Day is In Dependence Day!

I would like to extend my wishes on this day: Screw you guys, Happy I-Day!

A Fool's Journey

Destiny was the British general election. It was one of those bitter and tiring journeys that made me lose my way. From shocking to nothing. At the end, I am the fool.

On the road, I noticed two very interesting facts about British elections.

One. Elections are held only on Thursdays since 1931. A God-set day? Darwin in my ten-pounds note frowned. I understand his disapproval. So, Thursdays are either auspicious or lucky. As in Fridays and Pakistan.

Two. The Queen can vote, but in practice it is considered 'unconstitutional' for the Monarch to vote in an election. In case you are wondering, squandering public wealth doesn't fall under 'unconstitutional' category in Britain. Anywhere for that matter, I suppose. But here its legal. We pay tax to prove it too.

Many of the queue-forming British were sent home on the voting day while forming queue outside the polling station. Even before they voted. The reason was lack of ballot papers. Yes, the developed nation still use ballot papers. Indian villages use electronic technology to choose the bad among worse. I wish Mr Churchill be alive today to reconsider his 'men of straw' comment. What the heck? Let us dig him out.

British media have been partial since the day-one of Mr Brown. He had too many negative qualities to lead Britain. Scottish, media-'un'savvy, inarticulate and most importantly his illegible handwriting. Dominant British culture speaks for itself. Outfit over outlook.

British, rather English, Prime ministers in the past were eloquent. And 'only' eloquent. Mr Blair, the most charismatic PM was very loyal to the invader, Mr Bush. I would not have been surprised had Mr Bush said he has a cat, a dog and Mr Blair who would obey his commands swiftly. In contrast, Mr Brown was calm and composed even during the recession, toughest in the country's history since WWII. Of course, he proved us that he was technologically behind with his 'bigoted woman' comment on his microphone. Well, who isn't? No one is perfect.

The most 'nothing' thing in this journey was Mr Brown's offer to stand down. As someone rightly pointed out, the decision has to be admired. An example of how tough a calm guy can be. Britain need a man of action. Not mere words. By action, I don't necessarily mean arrogance. And they have lost one today.

Promiscuous quakes

A note above, for a change. Thanks to Pamela, who suggested the topic for this blog.

Last week marked an incredible discovery. Scientists all around the world bowed down before an Iranian cleric. Yes, the cleric has discovered something that scientists have toiled so many years for. It was an absolute outside-the-box thought. Scientists would have never reached that point anytime soon. On the first read itself, his proposed idea seemed fascinating and would certainly solve all mysteries behind the unpredictable earthquakes. Only that we lose all the fun. Who wants fun? Earthquakes are indeed disastrous.

A close look at his theory. He predicts that only promiscuous women are responsible for earthquakes. And the reason he unveiled was even more interesting. Men lack self-control under the influence of such women. If it was that easy, how many women are needed to take control of his President and his nuclear ambitions? Iranian cleric and women. Never go hand-in-hand. Not in public. Undeniably, the cleric has spent much time researching women, needless to mention promiscuous.

Not surprisingly, this theory attracted supporters from India. Of course, clergymen. Who else would? Of 1.2 billion, we do have substantial insanity in the form of clergies. One of them defended the cleric by giving a new perspective to his theory. By earthquake, it seems, the Iranian cleric meant social earthquake. The aftershocks have now been shifted to society. Where the hell is 'social earth' on this damn earth? When does it quake? I hope the Pope will clarify this soon after the pedophile cases.

Women, all around the world, did rise to the moment, rather insanely. A Facebook campaign asked women to dress promiscuously on April 26th. Demanded an explanation of his theory from the cleric. Having proven to be unpredictable, what if there was an earthquake? Women should have given up their outlook. Luckily it didn't happen.

Indian women are no bystanders to this. Scrupulous reactions and support for the genuine cause everywhere.
"I will definitely wear such a [promiscuous] t-shirt tomorrow to show my support" and "I don't know how effective it will be but why not do it anyway for the fun of it all?"

My response and request to them.

Are you 'supported' in such a t-shirt first of all? Please take a look at not-so-long-ago-'Swami' Nithyanandha. A notorious victim of a 'promiscuous' fun. Social quake-hit victim.

Please do not create more earthquakes. Earthquakes are not fun ;-)

Oh My GOD!

In continuation to my previous blog...

Since none had the address I gave up on GOD. One day, out of the blues, my kith and kin decided to give a green signal to my proposal. Something in me said that it was the Hand of GOD. So I wanted to thank GOD. I hit the bed that night thinking how.

The next morning. I woke up to an invitation card being slid under my door. The card read:

You are invited.
Pick up at 0800 hrs – GOD

I didn't believe at first. No one around me reads my blog to play pranks. Thoughts went deep. Something drew my attention. It was the every half-an-hour church-bell. What if this was true?

If this was GOD then I had only half-an-hour left. I didn't want to waste time anymore. I started to freshen up. All through my shower I was dreaming about riding on a white-horses-driven chariot in space to realize answers to perennial questions: Is GOD a He or She? Where does He/She live?

The moment hourly church-bell rang at 0800 hrs something drew me. All of a sudden I found myself with a kind old man. He was very friendly and was performing a routine security check. I told him about the latest airport scanners. He was amused. I didn't get a chance to mention that my dreams of chariot ride have been ruined. I can live without that.

Soon after formalities the old man led me to the GOD's room. He asked me to be polite and not to question the credibility of creationism.

The room was glittering. Everything in the room was fair and lovely. The GOD Himself was glowing. He was very bright. As in stars. As in Sun. I did notice only later that I got the answer to one of my perennial questions. Yes, the GOD was HE. He shook my hands firmly and welcomed me to His oval office. I thanked Him for what He did. He didn't take me serious. As if it was the only one He did to me. Fair enough.

I asked Him where he lives. He said His residence was just above his office. I said that He was lucky enough to have both at one place. 'Not always', He sighed.

He called someone to serve me with wine. He mentioned beforehand that it was not His blood.
Playing it down and safe, I praised Him all along.

Me: Your Omnipotence is beyond my imagination.
He: I doubt that.

"But I know for sure that I am potent enough", He winked while a beautiful and equally glowing woman served me a glass of wine. He introduced Her to me as His wife, the GODDESS. I was fascinated and knew that this meeting was taking me to another level. More personal with the GOD.

Me: So Is Da Vinci Code true?
He: I read that one. Pretty interesting.
Me: But?
He: I prefer not to answer that for my own sake.

Desperately wanting to move away from that topic, He shot a question at me.

He: What do people think about me?
Me: I narrated my encounter with a Catholic friend who tried to explain the GOD in his own way:

"Assume that you have an examination tomorrow. You know nothing about it till this evening. You cannot read or focus anymore. You pray all through the night. The next morning answers will flow out of your mind from nowhere and you will pass the examination."

He smiled and noted down the details of my friend in one of His diaries. I noticed the title of the diary: "List of prospective Popes". "Always keep your enemies within your sight", He said of His strategy. How true.

We discussed many things and I found His views very liberal. He was annoyed with the concept of abortion apparently. However, at some point, I asked about His views on condoms. "As long as it fits" was the response. He mentioned that "one size fits all is a scam". I gathered from his pitiful face that He was a victim.

His glowing face did become dull when I brought up the recent discussion on child protection. "All I can say is that, Children, please keep away from Priests" was His advice. I understood that He accepted his failure. He had no GOD to blame it on. Poor He. I didn't know how to console Him.

I jumped out of my bed hearing the buzzer. It was delivery of the book that I ordered, "The GOD Delusion".

Wow, what a dream? A dream-come-true dream!

Excuse me, am I on the right way to the past?

Never was I interested to discuss this until I myself am a victim. Interesting to know how a futuristic mindset, full of dreams, opens the door to the past bypassing the present. Absurd? Read on for more.

Indian weddings. A showcase of pride. Parents are the hosts. You are unmistakably wrong if you think their “to-wed” children are their pride. All Indian parents, irrespective of who, what, where, how they are, they have dreams about their children's wedding. Not the wedding plans that I am concerned about but choosing the right partner itself. Absurd 2. The only Unity for which the Thackerays may get along with rest of India. Fundamental right to marry whoever we want. The need for India today, more than any nuclear deal.

My entry.

I told my mom about a girl who I am interested in, of course to tie-the-knot. Not-so-surprisingly she was unhappy. Although she likes the girl, my mom thinks that our Gods may not like her Gods. In complex terms, the girl belongs to a different religion. Now I have to convince not only my mom but also the God, oops Gods! My mom somehow feels very obliged to answer the society if at all she agrees. Absurd 3. This could only happen in a country where no corrupt politician is obliged to answer anyone. We call it democracy.

My kith and kin were surprised and shocked on hearing this. Thanks to the fact that I was a calm and nice guy at home. I am afraid to marry anyone now for that matter. Take a moment. Imagine the day my wife announces that she is pregnant. All my kith and kin would be surprised and shocked again. Total chaos. Some of them might have to be rushed to emergency. Rest of them wondering how did I do and what was I thinking. Absurd 4. Only because I was a calm and nice guy at home. I wanted to tell them that I am calm but not stupid. Only that I couldn’t. Hey I am nice guy too.

After all these, I wonder. What did I really say? I like a girl. What could possibly have been their reactions if it was “I like a guy”? Beyond my imagination. It takes at least a thousand nuclear deals to transform a cat into a tiger.

Too many cooks in Indian wedding. Both literally and metaphorically. Convince many to marry one. Time is flying. Let me start my convincing with Absurd 3. Do you know where God lives?

Invasion

I am writing this from atop the World. Floating at 39000 feet above to be precise, provided the display is correct. I am flying to India from London for a month long vacation. This has been a very long day for me. Woke up at four in the morning and still up and flying. The time now is seven in the evening, of course GMT+1. I have never understood this mathematics with time zones. Nor am I interested.

I have witnessed the possible side-effects of invasion today. My British airways flight was from Terminal 5 of Heathrow airport, a newly built, well designed complex. As soon as I entered, there were Indians, everywhere. Not only the travelers. From desk to online check-in to security to gate, Indians, Indians and mostly Indians. I felt that I am already in India. I do know that there are specific areas in London, occupied mainly by Indians and its neighbors. But this is the first time in an airport, I see the dominance. I thought this is how invasion revitalizes itself with time in the other direction. It could be ‘the’ moment for proud Indians to take pride in their men who prove to be capable of ruling and disprove Churchill.

The moment lasts until you board the flight. Sorry, until you ‘try’ to board the flight. Our countrymen do not believe in reservations, at least in the ticketing though. Everyone tries to board the flight at once. I am sure of Usain Bolt losing if he wishes to try.

There was a typical south Indian family with more than a row of head counts aboard the flight. The key member of the family, who kept all the boarding passes apparently, was standing at the rear end of queue while others were almost at the counter asking the key member to jump the queue. Eventually he did. I imagined the railway stations of India. I realized that they feel at home. They had hand-baggage worth checking-in two. It took nearly fifteen minutes for them to settle down. We were all standing behind them waiting our turns. One of them even jumped from his window seat to the aisle ensuring that he doesn’t disturb the passenger at the center. It was funny to see because the passenger at the center was his wife. Very polite. The wife was indeed a step above him. She didn't consider sparing any of the cabin-crew. She always had something to ask for. At least biscuits. It seems, to her, it is a kind of ‘cash-back’.

My vacation has started from Terminal 5. How did I miss out all these fun for an year? Anyway, I don’t have to bother for one month from now.

Technically, Mom!

I should confess before starting to write that I love my Blackberry and Apple.

Looking back. I could not even imagine how I survived without a mobile phone or an e-mail address from the day I was born until the day I secured one. How could have my contacts been in touch those days? I can only wonder.

Today, on the contrary, I can be in touch with anyone I like and avoid anyone I don't. I can talk or at least send a message to anybody I want from anywhere. The frequency of communication has risen to the level of saturation. There can be no other way of better communication than what we have today. On the other hand, relationships have taken its toll.

If I don't receive an e-mail or SMS today, I feel left out. The day leaves a void in my life. Does anyone care about me? I am depressed. Same thing when I call someone and my call not getting picked up. It paves way to suspect whether I am being ignored. I am sure this is not just me. There are many billions around who would agree unconditionally.

The height of technology abuse.

Today even to wish our moms on Mother's day we depend on technology. Buy flowers and gifts on-line. Ask for "gift wrapped – direct delivery" to her. No time even to look at what we bought. No more time left to present her the gift ourselves on that day. How fair is that? This year it is even 'better'. I read somewhere today, of course on-line, that people complain on recession for not able to spend on gifts for their moms. Miles to go before they realize what their moms actually need.

I was born intelligent; education ruined me first; now it is the technology!

News

They were indeed news. I enjoyed while reading and felt while thinking about them.

American feather: The news that captured the front page of all leading newspapers couple of weeks ago. It was neither about economic policies nor war strategies. Not even the well criticized bail-out plan. What else was that? It was about the new 'first' dog, Bo. I was unaware that even a dog would get such a media attention. Either media has nothing else to report or the dog is unusual. Anyhow, it gives us a reason to 'Boo' Mr Obama!

Indian feather: The height of verbal assault by two of the leading Indian statesmen at each other. Petty bickering. They abused each other in public without realizing that it is not too far away from turning against them. Mr Advani and Dr Singh, please think about yourselves. Think about people too, when you find time!

Another Indian feather: Mr Karunanidhi, an octogenarian and a chief minister of one of the states in India, went on a fast against Srilankan government for man-slaughtering Tamil population in Srilanka and yet not ceasing fire. Mr Karunanidhi, the following are FYI. Marina is a tourist place not your bedroom. If something 'unfortunate' happens while fasting, Mr Rajpaksa would not be held responsible. Considering your age, it would have been clearly natural. Then why this drama? Before I forget, where were you when your son burnt alive three in Madurai for your own family reasons? In Srilanka?

One more Indian feather: Mr Narayana Murthy, chief mentor of Infosys. Ltd. He is well known, at least of late, for his exceptional 'foot-in-mouth' remarks. This time: "In India, articulation is mistaken for accomplishments". He stands as a perfect example for his statement. This is not the first time though. Mr Murthy always exposes his ignorance through interviews. Competitor to Mrs Palin.

I have all feathers now. But where is my hat?

Circus Begins

This time, not for kids but grown-up citizens. Most of us witness the magnificent clowns jumping, here and there, trying to cover-up a billion audience. Few of us applaud. A deck of cards with more than fifty-two jokers. Jokers alone. It is the time for India to choose better among worse. We proclaim it democracy.

I see many NRIs, in countries around the globe, taking pride in Indian democracy. Yet, they do not vote. It takes their time and money. Just for a vote. On the other hand, I am not proud at all and therefore. It is against the constitution to complete the sentence. But the constitution itself allows ineligible candidates to run for the top-job. How fair? By ineligible, I mean, a well learned-yet-powerless and an equally learned-yet-fanatic. Remember, we have only two options as we always had.

Experience alone governs; Not Age but vision matters. My ears are tired of hearing these conservative clichés. How do one experience when not given a chance? How can an octogenarian or a 'soon-to-be' lead India better? Do those conservatives, at all, know the reason for McCain's defeat.

Today's need is someone who thinks; not those who are tired of it. How often have you seen your grandfather taking a bold decision or act quickly? I would say, never, at least not under pressure. This being true, why do we elect ineligible candidate to lead, let alone contest. Three reasons. One, mere lack of candidates. Two, our dream of manifestos, though words only on paper, becoming real. Three, our love towards celebrities.

First reason is genuine. Most of us are away from India. Yet, we are very proud. We always talk about Indian politics and try hard not to do anything for it. Second reason, poor man's dream. It stops just there soon after waking up the morning after polls. At least for the next five years. Third reason is obvious. It is called democracy. In my words, ignorance.

Ignorance and dream are mere the side-effects of lack of leadership. I want the change. I remember, if you need a change, be one. Yes, I can be the change.

You know,
I have a dream!

Relic returns

"Prime Minister has directed me to do whatever possible....the bottom line is to procure the memorabilia" – Culture Minister Ambika Soni

Reading carefully the above statement by a cabinet minister, the word "whatever" signifies how desperate we were to take ownership of Gandhi's belongings. They were indeed the need of the hour for Indian Government, this week.

What made Dr Singh, a Cambridge educated Economist, to focus his efforts on this bidding? In other words, to become irrational?

At this point, I could only take a guess on Dr Singh's beliefs:

• Gandhi's sandals should take the 'privileged' priority over people of India due to approaching polls.
• India's vision will undoubtedly improve through those pair of steel-rimmed eye glasses.
• His watch brings good times in spite of recession and scams.

Let us all believe too, like Dr Singh, that India wakes up tomorrow in to a new era; peace and prosperity.

Today all of Gandhi's belongings are safe in the hands of an "Indian" liquor tycoon. Sounds amazing. Honestly, I do not know whether Gandhi deserves this. Slumdog versus Academy awards. But good for me, I realized Gandhi's value. It is US$1.8m. I cannot afford it anyway.

Increase of material comforts, it may be generally laid down, does not in any way whatsoever conduce to moral growth – Mohandas Gandhi

who needs moral growth, after all? Gandhi is dead already!

Paradise Lost

This post has nothing to do with John Milton's work.

I just signed off from a chat window. It was a little chat between my college friend and me. Nothing special about the chat itself. But something has driven me back in time. Those precious four years between 1997 and 2001 inclusive. I myself cannot define these years without losing its essence and hence I had to steal from Milton. Hope he would excuse.

I enjoyed those years like any other one in my batch. I made real good friends. Today's chat was not even about the college days. Still I am forced to think about the past. I cannot say those years were the best as there are miles to go still. But whenever someone asks me for my valuable years, I would not forget to mention those four.

I do not know how many others do this. But I have the habit of reading though my Diary-2001 at least once in every two months. It is where I learn about myself. My friends wrote their opinions on me; few good and many bad. I read through the lines every time and console myself of having quality people around me who bothered enough to point-out my negatives to me.

If I ask any of them today, they'll be polite in their opinions. Life teaches politeness and how to be good to others. On the other hand, life over-shadows perceptions. They may not reflect what they think. They are, to some extent, bound to say good things. But, in those four years, they were what they were. The diary is my treasure. The magical book that teaches me how-not-to-be rather than how-to-be.

All of us know that sand castles are to be washed away by the tides any time. No ones stops building one. I built mine too. The tides could not wash it away. I still cherish the way it was built not in hours but in years.

Globally Asymmetric

Believe it or not, every Indian citizen talks about culture today. I thought, why not me? I have the eligibility. I am Indian.

With overflowing patriotism, I referred Oxford dictionary. To my surprise, I found the word. How can such a 'conservative' Indian word present in Oxford dictionary? I reassured myself in a typical conservative way, English must have stolen it for their dictionary. Anyhow, my findings lead to the following:

culture• noun
1 the arts and other manifestations of human intellectual achievement regarded collectively.
2 a refined understanding or appreciation of this.
3 the customs, institutions, and achievements of a particular nation, people, or group.
4 the cultivation of plants, breeding of animals, or production of cells or tissues.
5 a preparation of cells grown in an artificial medium containing nutrients.

I am little confused. I thought culture is something like Creationism, by which I mean, should not be questioned. Just to be followed blindly.

Seriously, which of these are we referring to?

1 Certainly not this one as it clearly is an abstract idea of human intellectual achievement. I would not have been discussing this today had we accomplished intellectually.
2 The problem itself is a cause of no understanding at all, let alone refined.
3 We have 28 states/7 union territories. Every state has 'n' number of political groups where 'n' is large and cannot be counted. The only achievement of our country is that we are still together. And this can never be the 'culture' others are referring to.
4 There is food scarcity everywhere and farmer suicides are growing every year. If there is no food for us, breeding animals?
5 I don't quite understand this. And I am sure about others too.

Again, which one of these are we referring to? Please don't tell me 'culture' is a verb.

What is our problem with this imaginary noun 'culture'? Honestly, I do not know. I can afford only this much time to waste on culture. Further discussions might end up in uncultured comments. In my opinion, everyone has the right to have his/her own culture. Culture is an exceptional way of life. It is globally asymmetric.

To sum up:

Live simply, and let others simply live!

Inauguration

Loud and clear.

There cannot be any other inaugural speech as loud and clear as this. I am not an American myself. Still, I was awaiting this day just to hear Obama address not just the United States of America. He is pragmatic, charismatic, and magnetic. In less than twenty minutes of his inaugural address, he was able to summarize the entire eight years of Bush's pitfalls. Even Bush has to try hard to summarize better.

I am not supporting Obama because he's black or half-black. I am not even bothered about his color. In my opinion, he has a brain and he knows how to use it at least. During the crisis, people need hopes. They need someone to say that they can. They do not need their President to disclose his plans to save the economic downfall in his inaugural speech. Obama came out with hopes. Those who heard him were charged completely in twenty minutes. And remember, Obama's speech has driven not just the USA. In fact, it is too early to rate Obama. But one thing is for sure, he can do nothing to worsen the current situation in America.

My European friends think the other way. To them, a white can lead better. I asked them to take Bush as an example. One of them went to the extent of saying "Obama's mother was white and he was brought up by his white grandparents". And hence he may lead better. I still say, so was Bush and he proved it wrong today.

The actual issue.

Why am I talking more about Obama? I am not yet another guy who blindly admires his audacity of hopes. But there's something more to it and something that makes me think about India.

In these sixty-two years, India had never produced young charismatic leaders. Except for Rajiv, I don't remember any other younger face in power. He came to the throne only because he was the then assassinated Chief's son. Looking at Indian politics today, we are far behind. I have a unresolved question from the day I saw the movie "Ayudha Ezhuthu" or "Yuva" (in hindi). A question that dwells in me for a long time now.

Is it possible for me to indulge in politics and become a Chief someday when I'm fifty?

To be clear, I am not thriving here for power. In my opinion, a lot more can be done with power. A lot more good. The generation of today can heal the pain of grief. I am ready to do at any cost following the hopeful words of Obama:

If I can do it, anyone can!

Does a politically sensible honest opinion exist?

I was in the United States in November to attend a conference in Texas. I traveled around Austin with my colleagues. The group consists of three Indians and a guy from Cameroon.  To elaborate on us: I am very frank in my opinions. Politeness leaves by itself when honesty comes in. I am not bothered about to whom am I making a comment as long as I am to deliver an honest thought. It is always a negative in me.

All others, unlike me, would like to please others. No matter how wrong it is or how much does it deviate from their opinions, their intentions are to please those who are good to them. I wonder, how can you not be honest at least to those who are nice to you?? May be it is something beyond my knowledge and I am never going to understand.

Before getting in to the actual scenario, let me give my honest opinion on them. Oh, no! When I say honest I'm going to be impolite. So please excuse, let me move on to the scenario itself.

Along with one of them I was traveling to Wal-mart by taxi. The taxi driver was an American. He met all criteria to be an American: accent, polite, friendly, and most importantly obese. I would like to clarify here that I am not someone who makes fun of obesity.

On our way, the driver was engaging us in a lively conversation on our whereabouts. He suddenly said "I think there are no fat people in India; all are like you; slim and fit; I have never seen a fat Indian". One could sense at that time that he really means what he says. It may be because of the fact that he couldn't be one.

My good Indian colleague stepped in to his rescue. Trying to be polite to the American, he said, "it's a sign of wealth". By "it" he meant "obesity".  The driver vaguely agreed with him. I was puzzled. What? May be, Obesity is a sign of wealth in planet-X. Why would anyone make a comment that is least suited during the economic crisis? Instead of being nice and polite now you are indirectly making fun of his wealth during the crisis. 

Trying to step down the issue, I wanted to be honest and of course impolite by pointing the root cause. I said, "No... may be it's a sign of McDonald's". The driver understood and accepted the comment I made. He started laughing and said twice.. "huh, it's a sign of McDonald's". He couldn't cease his laughter until we got down.

Soon after we are in to Wal-mart's, my polite friend came to me and murmured. You know, everyone knows it's a sign of McDonald's but you shouldn't have been rude to him by saying it. He was so nice to us. I replied him, it was my honest opinion and I should be honest to those who are nice to me.

The news spread to my other "polite" Indian colleague. I was told by him that even a joke must be politically sensible and my comment wasn't. I stand by my comment. No honest opinion is politically sensible or correct. If you know or find a politically sensible yet honest opinion, please do let me know. 

Until then I go with Mark Twain's quote,

"It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense."

I won the Euro 2008!!!

"What?? You must be joking, Arun. Are you OK?" would be your response to the title. But, I really did. Sorry, I forgot to mention the word 'bid'. Yes, I won the bid for Euro 2008. You know, the teams I guessed were exactly those who played the final on June 29, Germany and Spain. I still ask myself how. How did I choose those teams that exactly got through all other qualifiers to reach the final? I should confess that I had no idea what the teams are when I had to bid them.

Germany is always my favorite. I have no reason why. Germany, as a team, I considered them to be a better choice for the Euro cup. They may not have any star players. But somehow I am much inclined to bid on Germany irrespective of their capacity needless to mention not just in Euro. Still I was not sure about them as they do not always win. Hence I'm forced to pick another. Now which one to pick. There were only few teams to choose from making my life easier: Portugal, France, Italy and Spain.

Portugal and France, though having good track records, did not convince me to be the winners of the Euro cup. I would have blindly gone with France if Zidane plays for them still. But now, I'm left with just two to choose from. No doubt Italy was a good team and they never lost to Spain in Euro at least as far as I know. They strongly believed in this Superstition which could have been seen from their quarterfinals against Spain. It was the same day, June 22 in every Euro cup in the past, that Spain was defeated in the Penalties, irrespective of whether Italy deserved the victory or not. I do not like Italy for many reasons: one of them being the superstitious beliefs. Moreover I wanted a team that do not play against Germany until the final, if at all Germany reaches.

Germany reached the final after defeating Turkey in not-so-professional yet not-so-unprofessional way. This semifinal was very tense that no one believed Turkey giving-up until the final whistle is blown. They portrayed their never give-up mentality through-out the tournament. Still my favorites won adding not-so-much to my surprise. In fact I expected it well-in-advance.

I was in a dilemma on the final day of Euro cup. Though both of my teams are in and I'm going to win the bid anyhow, whom to support now. My favorites or ever-unluckies. I couldn't decide till the end. But I was happy to see, the unlucky, unfortunate, forbidden, forsaken team in spite of their tremendous potential, the Spanish, lifting the Euro cup after their spectacular performance through-out the tournament.

I pocketed a decent amount in winning the bid.
But,
How did I choose the teams correctly even before the tournament, still I wonder!

Can you CORNER the World??

The title might puzzle you. But I mean it. Yes, every country tries to corner the globe with the power of their boundaries. It has been happening all the time somewhere around the world. I always wonder how can someone be cornered in a meeting over a round table. Why I wonder? Because how can you find a corner in a round table??? :-)

I play badminton with a Bangladeshi couple, needless to mention my neighbors geographically. India always has border issues with Bangladesh and Pakistan from the day of Independence of these countries. While we discuss political issues, or even otherwise, I always mention the border issues we have with them considering that Bangladesh was after all a part of India. They always bounce back with the severe famine/flood/arsenic poisoning that was/is being created by India in Bangladesh. Yes, of course they are right. India showed its superpower over the small country, once a part of its own state by constructing controversial barrages that counts to at least seventeen over the rivers that flow in to Bangladesh, one of them being the famous Farakka barrage. Though known in history as a country never waged a war or wanted to capture its neighbors, India, failed to establish its reputation in Bangladesh. It even made me think of as a "trademark Indian non-violent concentration camp". Many of my countrymen wouldn't like me for this phrase.

Back to the subject. I always wonder about the infiltration and the related or unrelated terrorist attacks especially in India. India seems to be very special as the country itself has potential threats as his neighbors mostly indirect. Their pusillanimous brutal slaughtering of common people in India, with increasing head counts every month, has not been paused. Such neutered terrorists die for no reason after leaving the entire country agitated and panicked. If at all their mission was to isolate the country from its neighbors, YES they have done it, without mistakes.

Now terror stricken countries close their borders. The borders are indeed not so visible even to their neighbors. The nations have coined a common terminology to justify themselves.

Security threat is that very fancy, man-made, every nation's favorite terminology that keeps the boundaries safer than the countries themselves. For how much did every country buy their lands? From whom did they buy and when? Is Columbus a sole owner of America Or Vasco-da-gama owns India still?

We build our houses and erect walls around it to define boundaries. No doubt they enhance our privacy but at the same time isolate us from our neighbors which in fact ourselves. This is similar to the story about a lion cub in a herd of lambs. On isolation, eventually we forget our nature and become walls with no more love and humanity left in our hearts. We bother much about the external elements that cross our boundaries as we see them as security threats. Hence we are no more lions but lambs. By this I don't mean building houses without boundaries. It is merely to understand that these boundaries doesn't mean everything to us. Security would always remain as a primary concern to any nation that do not live in harmony at least with its neighbors. India is no exception.